Solving Problems With Logic and Reason: Deworming Demystified and Line Cutters Cut Down

The following paragraph outlines a personal crisis concerning deworming, but glosses over a more serious  personal crisis about a lack of my very own basset hound. If you would like to help remedy this crisis, please feel free to contact me or drop off a basset hound at my current residence. Anyhow, During one of my daily glances through Eventing Nation, I saw a link to what promised to be a great book on deworming your horse. Overcome by giddy excitement, (at avoiding LSAT studying for a few more minutes) and having just given dewormer to my own horses,  I of course clicked immediately on the link, which led me to a review of a 200+ page book about how the rotational worming system you use on your horse is wrong, inadequate, and harmful to our future ability to protect our horses against parasites. Sometimes science is a serious debbie downer. 2 feelings immediately came  through 1. I wish I hadn't clicked on the link, after all,  horses have managed with traditional deworming systems just fine for decades, followed by 2. Ok maybe its not that bad. All I have to do is call out the vet, do a very easy test and probably buy dewormer a lot less often in the future, as "evidence based deworming" protects against the parasites your individual horse is most susceptible to.  Logically this doesn't seem that bad, but because I hate change of all kind, unless it involves the arrival of fall drinks at Starbucks, an increase of basset hounds in any area of life or red and navy accesories for my horse, this newfangled worming system seemed downright horrible. Call the vet??!! Wait for the vet to come out?!?! Wait for them to call you back?! Decide what deworming product to use?  I felt quickly overwhelmed  by the situation at hand. (You would too, just say the words call, wait, and decide, in rapid succession until they stop making sense. Welcome to a dysfunctional brain process) Quickly remembering a new trick I learned from a recent read, The Happiness Project, I decided to stop overeacting and address the problem: I don't have a basset hound. Then remembering to stay focused, I addressed the actual problem related to deworming: I hate change and am skeptical of most things "new". Then I found the obvious solution: I  don't need to read this book or stress about it, I can simply call the vet and discuss what to do. Then I forced myself to admit, I have a phone, I have a voice, I have all the tools to solve this problem. Phone plus voice equals deworming problem solved bam. (That one little sentence could have been the whole blog entry, but instead I made deworming a huge long paragraph, and I think that makes my problem and solution seem a whole lot more legitimate and worthy of panic mode)
Besides deworming depression, my horses are doing great, but don't worry there are many other problems to write about and a whole paragraph out there waiting to be put onto the page.
Problem 2: People in Ocala have identified me as a prime candidate for cutting in line. I do not mean I look like I would cut someone else, oh no, what I mean is that apparantly people see me and think, YES that girl LOVES when people cut in front of her and I am ready to make her day! First was Christy Cut in Line at Advance Auto Parts. I'm standing there with my bottle of oil for Ben "the slow oil leak" benz, and the man behind me starts telling me about his racehorses and his dislike of warmbloods. So I turn around to respond and that's when Christy (I don't know her name she just looked like a Christy) makes her move, darting in front of me with her sneakers (perfectly made for rapid darting) and her too short khakis (perfectly made for being too short) and placing her merchandise on the counter. I could have made my own rapid response move, along the lines of "Excuse me Christy Cut in Line, you just cut me in line" or "See this easily unscrewed high mileage engine oil, which might easily splash open at any moment? Yeah I would get behind me if I were you" (Too far?) but I knew that she knew exactly what she was doing and I wasn't going to waste my time making a scene when Christy had  bigger problems on her hands. Rather, on her legs, and I'm talking about her khakis. Buy the right size Christy! Knowing I wouldn't be able to address the cutting issue without a fashion intervention, I remained silent and let things take their course.  At least until the next day when it happened again! And this time I said, "I mean it Christy, we've all had enough, you need new pants." Except it wasn't Christy at all, it was an old lady at Dish, and all I wanted was a bread pudding and I was first in line,(in fact I was the entire line) but suddenly she nudged her way in front of me at the counter, saying "I'm sorry I just need to pay" .... what she meant was, "I have incredible ninja skills and even though you were standing by yourself at the counter I saw airspace and dodged in, using my old lady charm and apologetic excuses to leave you standing in awe while I cut you in line. Afterwards, she said "Thank you" Not only was she going to cut me in line, she was going to thank me for it. "Thank you for leaving 6 inches of prime old lady size space in front of you, that was really generous." That, to paraphrase, is what she said. So if you see me  putting up a barrier fence around myself or standing uncomfortably close to the person in front of me, it's because I will no longer stand to be stood in front of, cut off, apologized to, as I am boldy reduced of my place in line, privy to short pants and apologizing retirees. No more.  Thanks to a barrier fence plus eliminating 3 feet of personal space rule (who needs it right?) my line problem solved. bam.
-As an aside, I want to acknowledge situations where its unclear who was there first (lines with multiple strands, for instance at CVS when people congregate in clumps vaguely near the register. Faced with this sort of dillemma, I courteously allow other people to pass in front of me, due to my excellent manners and personal relationship skills, skills which Christy and Nameless Lady could benefit from implementing) Well I guess its time to get back to the new manners manuel I'm writing, "A guide to khakis for the clueless and considering others before yourself"*
* Considering others in line when they are literally before you as in
**In front of you.

How (bad) Tennis helped my Riding (sort of)

Last week, a surprise visit to Ocala by a family friend, (There are, to my complete surprise, actual people that come to Ocala for a non-horsey vacation) led to my playing tennis at 8:30 in the morning on a cold and blustery day. Playing tennis reminded me of some of the qualities required for riding: the rhythm and harmony achieved in really great tennis, the effortless swing of the players, the combination of speed and accuracy necessary to be successful... were all things I did not come even close to achieving as I returned to tennis for the first time in about 10 to 15 years, after a tennis career that consisted of a 2 week stint of lessons at summer camp and an occasional session of hit the ball against the garage when there is nothing else to do.
In order to prevent people from inadvertently playing tennis with me, I made up a few signs you may be playing tennis with me:
1.If you have time to check your watch, go for a jog, get a water break and get back to the court before the ball makes it back across the net, you may be playing tennis with me. 
2.If you move to the neighbors court because that's where the ball goes most of the time, you may be playing tennis with me.
3. If you feel concerned for your life because a racket is flying across the court at rapid speed with no one holding on (oops....) you may be playing tennis with me.  
4. If your hear some one laughing hysterically, that would be my mom when she heard I was voluntarily going to play tennis at a country club in front of other people.
5. If you are wondering whether the bright red sketchers sneakers across from you are spewing shavings, you may be playing tennis with me.
However, despite being extremely bad, and eternally grateful there was no one playing nearby, I did learn a few things that I can apply to both disciplines
1. Loosen up! As I stood frozen to the middle of the court watching the ball come closer and closer and then go by I realized I had to relax and move in order to (sometimes) get the ball back across the net.  Just like in seeing a distance to a jump, sometimes you have to move up, sometimes you have to wait and sometimes you think "oh no there's nothing" (aka there's no way I'm hitting this ball) and your horse figures it out...except unfortunately for me, my tennis racquet never figured things out, but at one point it did try to escape when I may have loosened my grip just a little and it took the opportunity to fly into the middle of the court.  Word to tennis racquets: don't abandon an obvious beginner mid-game, stay with your player!
2. Practice makes perfect and also makes you a lot less sore. The first time you try a new sport or a new movement or a new level, things are not going to be perfect and days later it will still be painful to walk up the stairs. Instead, improvement takes time and concentrated effort. For me, I concentrated on holding onto the racquet and keeping my wrist straight and envisioning the ball sailing smoothly across the court.... Unfortunately, these positive thoughts didn't improve my actual hand eye coordination and I had to admit I can only handle one skill at a time. Thus I decided the most important skill was "make contact with the ball" which improved my tennis game greatly. (When you are at my level, the tennis version of amoeba, any improvement is great improvement)
3. Have fun. I am never going to be a tennis  pro, and even though I  am very very bad at tennis I still had fun.  It was pretty easy for me to have fun playing tennis, because I had no goals, no reason I had to get better (except out of compassion for the poor people who had to play with me) and felt no pressure or disappointment when I messed up. (I did secretly hope that I was an amazing, undiscovered tennis talent, but like my experience with watercolors, Scattergories, and bowling, hoping and being are verrrrrryyy different things) With riding I feel constantly pressured to do better and improve, but it's important to remember that one of the core reasons I ride and event is because it's fun.