Rocking Horse

Had a successful weekend at Rocking Horse, with Boots doing her second novice and finishing with a 35 in dressage and a clean cross country and Tampa doing his first recognized event and finishing 6th in Beginner Novice.  Boots put in a very relaxed and obedient dressage test and was her usual unflappable self all weekend. Tampa jumped around with ease and just needs to work on relaxing in the dressage. He got my hopes up as he warmed up very relaxed and gave me some beautiful trot which unfortunately disappeared rapidly as we neared the judge's booth.  I hope he begins to relax and enjoy (or at least accept) being in the ring a bit more as he is capable of doing a super test, but as he still has very little experience I couldn't be too disappointed especially after double clear show jump and cross country rounds where he was very good.  Inet and Cleo both held down the fort at home and are both going well and the only downside to the weekend was missing the Valentines Basset Waddle....still waiting on the perfect Basset (to be named Louise unless a more Basseterific name is thought of) to show up at the Basset Rescue in Gainesville.... I cannot wait to be yelling "Louise come back here right now I know you ate the whole loaf of bread" Although I am already sure she will be entirely untrainable and stubborn (and heartbreakingly adorable), I know she is going to be the light of my life as she takes the bread off my table...Sigh... Besides a busy weekend with the ponies, I have recently become addicted to a word game on my phone called Ruzzle. Its becoming an obsession and I anxiously count the seconds as I wait for my opponent to play.....I might need to join Ruzzle anonymous, but for now I'm encouraging people to play and join the obsession. My username is hmaytham 

Last weekend I had a break from the Florida sunshine and made it up to Boston in time for Storm Nemo and my good friend Kylie Lyman's wedding. She looked so beautiful and I am so happy for her, although I wish Ireland weren't quite so far away! Last night when it dipped into the 20's it felt scarily similar to New England weather which I find a distant and incomprehensible memory as I now pile on fleeces if it dips below 80, but we have had a very mild winter here compared to my first Florida experience and I am not complaining. I am  ready to complain about the most obnoxious people to have ever entered Starbucks. They are here every single day, (I don't know that for a fact it just sounds worse that way and worse is exactly what they are) they arrive with a zeal for annoyance that I find unsurpassed and a passion for painfully loud noises that amazes me.  Each time I see them I am forced to count to 10 and breathe deeply and slowly.  Or I think that's what you're supposed to do, instead, as a good New Englander would, I give them the silent intensive glare. Through this glare I am thinking,  you guys are a great opportunity to practice dealing with and overcoming stressful situations and make me a better person by becoming more patient and tolerant! Thanks so much! Remember every problem is an opportunity! and every child yelling is an angel's song in disguise!.... This is why I wouldn't be hired to make inspirational posters or knit sayings on pillows. So I am going to my car as fast as possible, and focusing on how much cuter than any small child Boots looks braided.

"Please let there be hay inside"

Game face before dressage, and sporting her new Back on Track blanket, Thanks Mom!! :) 

Boots napping after her big weekend

Valentine's Day trail ride with the 4 year olds 

Inet noticed I was taking pictures of Boots and refused to be passed by. I think he wishes he could be a Dover catalog model

January is Flying By!

I don't quite know where to begin because its been so long since I posted. My (lame) excuse is that I told myself I should spend blogging time finishing my law school applications.... which meant something closer to "starting my law school applications" Unfortunately, I found loads of other ways to procrastinate which led to no blog, no applications done, but a lot of clean laundry and trying out an assortment of toe nail polish colors.....
In good news, I did well on the LSAT, employing a strategy of positive thinking on the day of the test that went like this: I'm eating my lucky twix bar, this is a really good sign! I wonder how many other test takers have twix bars for breakfast... probably not many. Too bad for them. I'm wearing my lucky jeans! I'm going to ace this! I then spent about 12 minutes on one logic game panicking, a strategy that turned out to be pretty innefective, but choosing answer C for all 6 questions turned out better than I thought it would. That was the low point of the test, luckily the rest of it went along fine and simply flew by in a flurry of bubble coloring and then bam, five hours later there I was done with standardized testing for life (hopefully?).

Boots did 2 beginner novices and was a star at both of them! As I look at the pictures from both shows, I find the disturbing trend of me jumping ahead... It looks like I'm telling Boots, hold on let me just check out this show jumping fence as we jump it I need to check out the paint job (by the way at the Horse Park and Longwood the show jumps are beautiful so I do have a good reason to look :) Boots was nice enough to canter along and not teach me a lesson by stopping or spooking at anything, but I definitely need to work on that! She loves cross country and I was slightly worried heading out my second time with her about control in my snaffle and very conscious about not getting speed faults, but after her enthusiasm (look it's a field, lets galloppppppppp) at our first outing together at the horse park she was very happy to canter along at a slower pace when we went to Longwood a couple of weeks ago.  They gave us time faults, which I'm sure we didn't have because of my carefully checking the time and coming only 15 seconds under, but the posted score didn't matter much because the point was for her to get a good positive experience which she did. Next up will be rocking horse as her first novice.
I have a second mare in the barn, "Cleo." She is here from Massachusetts to be sold, and I have gone from my standard of having bay geldings to now having 2 mares with Inet holding out as the only male, which I'm pretty sure he doesn't mind and in fact he seems to be enjoying gazing at Cleo from across the aisle.  Cleo is very flashy and athletic and had a great outing at Longwood, going double clear in show jumping and cross country. She'll do a combined test tomorrow as her first training level.
Finally, Inet got to come to the event at Longwood to hang out and have a relaxing hack. He thought the idea of a relaxing hack was hilarious and still laughs at me when I bring it up. Instead of any relaxing, he was his usual explosive self and threw in a new tactic of whinnying to Boots (who was back in the trailer and couldn't care less about Inet) as he leapt about in the air. It didn't help that cross country warmup was not as I had thought, finished, but there were still horses jumping and entering the start box and this was probably not the best sight for Inet at his first outing in a very long time.  The important thing is that eventually we got all four feet back on the ground and Inet back into the trailer, and as soon as we got home he reverted back to his typical lazy self.  Later that week I also succeeded in clipping Inet, by employing the strategy of positve thinking: The last time I clipped Inet required 2 doses of tranq. and a full on battle as he seemed to twitch awake within minutes and refused to stand still. This time I went in with the attitude "Inet loves to be clipped" and amazingly, it worked. Maybe I should write a book.... "Clipping my horse and how positive thinking changed my life and his" It might have been the fact that I used little clippers instead of the massive Oster body clippers and bribed him with as much hay as he wanted, but then again, it may have been the positive vibes I sent through the barn.... On that note I'm going to use positive thinking to hope that someone else has decided to clean my tack and repack the trailer and then I'm headed to Longwood in the morning!

Solving Problems With Logic and Reason: Deworming Demystified and Line Cutters Cut Down

The following paragraph outlines a personal crisis concerning deworming, but glosses over a more serious  personal crisis about a lack of my very own basset hound. If you would like to help remedy this crisis, please feel free to contact me or drop off a basset hound at my current residence. Anyhow, During one of my daily glances through Eventing Nation, I saw a link to what promised to be a great book on deworming your horse. Overcome by giddy excitement, (at avoiding LSAT studying for a few more minutes) and having just given dewormer to my own horses,  I of course clicked immediately on the link, which led me to a review of a 200+ page book about how the rotational worming system you use on your horse is wrong, inadequate, and harmful to our future ability to protect our horses against parasites. Sometimes science is a serious debbie downer. 2 feelings immediately came  through 1. I wish I hadn't clicked on the link, after all,  horses have managed with traditional deworming systems just fine for decades, followed by 2. Ok maybe its not that bad. All I have to do is call out the vet, do a very easy test and probably buy dewormer a lot less often in the future, as "evidence based deworming" protects against the parasites your individual horse is most susceptible to.  Logically this doesn't seem that bad, but because I hate change of all kind, unless it involves the arrival of fall drinks at Starbucks, an increase of basset hounds in any area of life or red and navy accesories for my horse, this newfangled worming system seemed downright horrible. Call the vet??!! Wait for the vet to come out?!?! Wait for them to call you back?! Decide what deworming product to use?  I felt quickly overwhelmed  by the situation at hand. (You would too, just say the words call, wait, and decide, in rapid succession until they stop making sense. Welcome to a dysfunctional brain process) Quickly remembering a new trick I learned from a recent read, The Happiness Project, I decided to stop overeacting and address the problem: I don't have a basset hound. Then remembering to stay focused, I addressed the actual problem related to deworming: I hate change and am skeptical of most things "new". Then I found the obvious solution: I  don't need to read this book or stress about it, I can simply call the vet and discuss what to do. Then I forced myself to admit, I have a phone, I have a voice, I have all the tools to solve this problem. Phone plus voice equals deworming problem solved bam. (That one little sentence could have been the whole blog entry, but instead I made deworming a huge long paragraph, and I think that makes my problem and solution seem a whole lot more legitimate and worthy of panic mode)
Besides deworming depression, my horses are doing great, but don't worry there are many other problems to write about and a whole paragraph out there waiting to be put onto the page.
Problem 2: People in Ocala have identified me as a prime candidate for cutting in line. I do not mean I look like I would cut someone else, oh no, what I mean is that apparantly people see me and think, YES that girl LOVES when people cut in front of her and I am ready to make her day! First was Christy Cut in Line at Advance Auto Parts. I'm standing there with my bottle of oil for Ben "the slow oil leak" benz, and the man behind me starts telling me about his racehorses and his dislike of warmbloods. So I turn around to respond and that's when Christy (I don't know her name she just looked like a Christy) makes her move, darting in front of me with her sneakers (perfectly made for rapid darting) and her too short khakis (perfectly made for being too short) and placing her merchandise on the counter. I could have made my own rapid response move, along the lines of "Excuse me Christy Cut in Line, you just cut me in line" or "See this easily unscrewed high mileage engine oil, which might easily splash open at any moment? Yeah I would get behind me if I were you" (Too far?) but I knew that she knew exactly what she was doing and I wasn't going to waste my time making a scene when Christy had  bigger problems on her hands. Rather, on her legs, and I'm talking about her khakis. Buy the right size Christy! Knowing I wouldn't be able to address the cutting issue without a fashion intervention, I remained silent and let things take their course.  At least until the next day when it happened again! And this time I said, "I mean it Christy, we've all had enough, you need new pants." Except it wasn't Christy at all, it was an old lady at Dish, and all I wanted was a bread pudding and I was first in line,(in fact I was the entire line) but suddenly she nudged her way in front of me at the counter, saying "I'm sorry I just need to pay" .... what she meant was, "I have incredible ninja skills and even though you were standing by yourself at the counter I saw airspace and dodged in, using my old lady charm and apologetic excuses to leave you standing in awe while I cut you in line. Afterwards, she said "Thank you" Not only was she going to cut me in line, she was going to thank me for it. "Thank you for leaving 6 inches of prime old lady size space in front of you, that was really generous." That, to paraphrase, is what she said. So if you see me  putting up a barrier fence around myself or standing uncomfortably close to the person in front of me, it's because I will no longer stand to be stood in front of, cut off, apologized to, as I am boldy reduced of my place in line, privy to short pants and apologizing retirees. No more.  Thanks to a barrier fence plus eliminating 3 feet of personal space rule (who needs it right?) my line problem solved. bam.
-As an aside, I want to acknowledge situations where its unclear who was there first (lines with multiple strands, for instance at CVS when people congregate in clumps vaguely near the register. Faced with this sort of dillemma, I courteously allow other people to pass in front of me, due to my excellent manners and personal relationship skills, skills which Christy and Nameless Lady could benefit from implementing) Well I guess its time to get back to the new manners manuel I'm writing, "A guide to khakis for the clueless and considering others before yourself"*
* Considering others in line when they are literally before you as in
**In front of you.

How (bad) Tennis helped my Riding (sort of)

Last week, a surprise visit to Ocala by a family friend, (There are, to my complete surprise, actual people that come to Ocala for a non-horsey vacation) led to my playing tennis at 8:30 in the morning on a cold and blustery day. Playing tennis reminded me of some of the qualities required for riding: the rhythm and harmony achieved in really great tennis, the effortless swing of the players, the combination of speed and accuracy necessary to be successful... were all things I did not come even close to achieving as I returned to tennis for the first time in about 10 to 15 years, after a tennis career that consisted of a 2 week stint of lessons at summer camp and an occasional session of hit the ball against the garage when there is nothing else to do.
In order to prevent people from inadvertently playing tennis with me, I made up a few signs you may be playing tennis with me:
1.If you have time to check your watch, go for a jog, get a water break and get back to the court before the ball makes it back across the net, you may be playing tennis with me. 
2.If you move to the neighbors court because that's where the ball goes most of the time, you may be playing tennis with me.
3. If you feel concerned for your life because a racket is flying across the court at rapid speed with no one holding on (oops....) you may be playing tennis with me.  
4. If your hear some one laughing hysterically, that would be my mom when she heard I was voluntarily going to play tennis at a country club in front of other people.
5. If you are wondering whether the bright red sketchers sneakers across from you are spewing shavings, you may be playing tennis with me.
However, despite being extremely bad, and eternally grateful there was no one playing nearby, I did learn a few things that I can apply to both disciplines
1. Loosen up! As I stood frozen to the middle of the court watching the ball come closer and closer and then go by I realized I had to relax and move in order to (sometimes) get the ball back across the net.  Just like in seeing a distance to a jump, sometimes you have to move up, sometimes you have to wait and sometimes you think "oh no there's nothing" (aka there's no way I'm hitting this ball) and your horse figures it out...except unfortunately for me, my tennis racquet never figured things out, but at one point it did try to escape when I may have loosened my grip just a little and it took the opportunity to fly into the middle of the court.  Word to tennis racquets: don't abandon an obvious beginner mid-game, stay with your player!
2. Practice makes perfect and also makes you a lot less sore. The first time you try a new sport or a new movement or a new level, things are not going to be perfect and days later it will still be painful to walk up the stairs. Instead, improvement takes time and concentrated effort. For me, I concentrated on holding onto the racquet and keeping my wrist straight and envisioning the ball sailing smoothly across the court.... Unfortunately, these positive thoughts didn't improve my actual hand eye coordination and I had to admit I can only handle one skill at a time. Thus I decided the most important skill was "make contact with the ball" which improved my tennis game greatly. (When you are at my level, the tennis version of amoeba, any improvement is great improvement)
3. Have fun. I am never going to be a tennis  pro, and even though I  am very very bad at tennis I still had fun.  It was pretty easy for me to have fun playing tennis, because I had no goals, no reason I had to get better (except out of compassion for the poor people who had to play with me) and felt no pressure or disappointment when I messed up. (I did secretly hope that I was an amazing, undiscovered tennis talent, but like my experience with watercolors, Scattergories, and bowling, hoping and being are verrrrrryyy different things) With riding I feel constantly pressured to do better and improve, but it's important to remember that one of the core reasons I ride and event is because it's fun. 

A Global Perspective on an Urban Community: Ocala gets serious about politics and I get serious about pretentious sounding blog titles

 Warning: the content of this post has zero mention of horses (or bayonets) but you can read on about the use of glitter and the better parts of World History as I delve into the dirty world of Ocala Politics.

A couple of weeks ago, I came across some, I suppose the nicest thing to call them would be… drawing a blank here, okay let’s call them humans, standing on the corner with some really incredible, get out there and be an activist, You got this, Standupforfreedomofpostingonyourposter, posters. My initial reaction is not appropriate for posting on this blog but I sure told those folks how I really felt, by rolling down my windows and giving them a piece of my mind. At least that's how it went down in my head, unfortunately the many positive qualities of my car do not include working windows so I had to settle for silent seething as I drove by twice so I could give them...a hand signal the second time around when I was lucky enough to get a red light and really give them the stare down. 
 

In case its hard to read this do it yourself poster says "Obama Socialist Fascism Radical"

 I've seen a lot of posters in my day, I mean anyone who graduated middle school and went heavy on the borders and glitter and light on the writing has seen a poster maybe just like this one. In fact, I bet he picked up the board from Walgreens, or maybe Michaels or Joann's Fabric if he's really crafty and at first I thought, Oh wow it's poster day! You just pick someone you don't like and write their name on a poster and then put some words about them (they don't have to be related or accurate just use a word that sounds intellectual but also kind of sinister) and stand in the center of a bustling downtown.  But to begin with I was troubled by a little grammatical error, in my personal experience, a person cannot be “Fascism” a person can only be fascist, which the writer apparently understood perfectly when he was writing "socialist" but then started getting off track. It’s okay because I understand, I once wrote GOVERMENT on a latin poster. (Can someone get this girl a letter N?! That's what my class was thinking. Awkward...) Maybe he was excited to make the next poster "Honk for the USA" followed by "There are Muslims in the white house" and my personal favorite "Stop the EPA"* but in doing, he had awakened the slumbering giant, the angry English major who occasionally delves into the world of politics even though her blog isn’t really about that. And here's the important difference between my poster and his: I didn't take my latin poster out in public and make outrageous claims about our president in the process, all I did was write an awesome description of the Honorum system and make crisp borders and yes, one tinsy mistake.

 So onto the content of this poster. Before addressing whether or not Obama is a "Socialist Fascism" yeah that sounds pretty bad doesn't it? I'm going to go ahead and argue this radical idea:  no one can be a Socialist Fascist. And I wouldn't bore you with why, I would go on blithley assuming people out there were thoughtful and reasonable, except for the fact that drivers were honking all over the place, as in Honk for the USA, as in if you love your country you love democracy you therefore don't love fascist socialist and you therefore definitely don't love Obama.  I'm studying for the lsats so I know that that is an "if then" statement resulting in a necessary condition, but it doesn't take a logic book for me to figure out that the if and the therefore aren't adding up. So back to high school, (no definitely not Latin because, yeah, the poster ordeal was pretty embarrassing) World History with Mrs. Huffstader (I can't remember the exact spelling, but she was one of my favorite teachers) where we learned about the great ‘ism's’ of history.  Starting with Fascism: a political ideology generally supported by the far right or extreme right with an authoritarian government, think Mussolini, totalitarian government, (check out my correct spelling) and state control. Socialism on the other hand, is characterized by "social ownership of the means of production" (Wikipedia), redistributing wealth, nationalizing the economy, etc (That etc is an easy way out of explaining what in practice is a complicated economic and political ideology, but as a personal blog I'm hoping to inspire the reader to do some research themselves, which I wish I could have said in AP History. Just kidding Mrs. H I love research.... kind of). Anyhow, In my high school history class we had a nifty diagram called a line with Fascism on the far right and Socialism on the far left.  They weren't next to each other, they didn't talk, weren't friends and definitely didn't show up on a poster as neighbors.   

            But I understand that for the intended purposes of this poster, the viewer is not meant to think about 20^th century history, the take home message is that Obama is stifling our economy by overregulation, heavy taxes and burdensome government involvement and this “government take control” idea is something Fascism and Socialism have in common. However, I think that argument is unmerited and untrue.  Luckily I live in a world where people often courteously stop each other to say, “Excuse me but I think perhaps the message of your poster, or the way you cut me off on the highway, or the fact that you cut in front of me in the grocery line was really unmerited and it would do us all a lot of good if we could all hold hands and do things in a more merited way from now on.” And then the other person says “You expect me to be both true and merited? That’s exactly what I was thinking!” Then everyone holds hands (after, obviously, they have gotten their flu shot and Purell-ed and used soap and water especially if they are an employee) and agrees with each other and the use of Prozac decreases dramatically, along with the cost of health care because happiness is the best form of preventative medicine!

Remember in your history text they would sometimes have a totally random page, like Careers in History! Or, soap making in colonial times! This is kind of like that... it's a little cultural glimpse into Ocala called ... Gossipping Ladies! Overheard at Starbucks while innocently minding my own business near some Gossiping Glendas nearby:  "Have you heard rumours? About Megan?" (Now I'm listening, I love hearing rumors especially when they're about people I don't know because then I don't feel bad sharing them, but I'm pretty much guessing on how to spell Megan) "It's been over a year now" Since WHAT?! what happened?? I want to yell across Starbucks. But unfortunately for my intense curiosity I continue to act like a normal person typing a blog post and keep quiet, and as gossiping Glenda number 1 lowers her voice conspiratorially I realize sadly that I will probably never know about Melissa.

* "Stop the EPA" You can't make this stuff up, there is actually an organization out there trying to protect the environment! Its called the Environmental Protection Agency. They don't even try to hide what they're doing. I know, I couldn't believe it either, but it's high time we expose the dark underbelly of the government and the only way to do it is to keep cutting down trees and throwing our recycling into the road in great heaps until things start to improve.

Quick get a fleece! its dipping into the 60's in Florida

Farmer's market in Stowe VT. The giant horse originated from the barn of Mike Plumb;

tiny child origins unknown 

 A few mornings ago when I arrived at the barn my car thermometer read 49 degrees at 7 in the morning. That's right I braved 49 degree weather in only a teeshirt, fleece, and pants! Add 2-3 more layers a hat and gloves for my standard "its in the 40's" outfit.  As I led my horse inside, reminding him that cantering back to the barn and / or trotting in place wasn't going to be okay, I knew that fall had finally arrived in Ocala.  Luckily the advent of cooler weather is a slow process and by midday it was sunny in the low 80's and I had sufficiently thawed out.  My blog has admittedly been very neglected the past couple of months but much has happened and I'm excited about the coming months as my life moves in a new direction.  Or at least most of me is excited, I find a part of myself thinking like a GPS insisting "Make a U turn when possible, new directions are very bad!!" At the end of August, with mixed emotions, I decided to leave my position as barn manager at Five Ring and apply to law school.  My nearly two years working for Kyle and Jen have been an unbelievable experience and I have learned so much from them and met so many wonderful people along the way.  I'm getting a bit stuck explaining my desire to go to law school especially when the phrase 'student loans' keeps flashing disquietingly through my mind, but I'm going to go ahead and skip that for now and move onto a few other exciting things that have happened. Firstly, a move to a lovely farm in Citra that I am so luckily to be living on with my dear friends Alden and Laurie, who have been so generously sharing their home with me even after the saddle pad debacle of the weekend... yes I may have put a horsey saddlepad-like object in our tiny, Clothes Only, washing machine, but may I also have been possessed by our house ghost and therefore unaccountable for my actions? ....I think that's a definite possibility.... And in all seriousness, we think we have a ghost! More on that later and hoping it's friendly but very shy and afraid to ever ever come out when I'm home alone. It is so nice looking out the window and seeing Inet grazing in the field, and the farm is beautiful with a very nice barn, lots of turnout and plenty of room to ride! I think this winter Inet may make his debut as dressage horse extraordinaire, although I have not yet told him this and anticipate that his excitement level may be very low.

  In addition, I have been riding the most lovely two star horse, Odyssey, also known as “Irish Dreams.”  He has a positive attitude and his work ethic is super.  Working with him makes me think of the foremost question  Eric Smiley, Irish Olympian and generous host to my working student experience in Ireland, would ask each time you sat on a horse:  “Is he taking you?” In other words, is he going forward and in front of your leg and with Odyssey the answer is most definitely yes.  Combined with his experience, good movement, and very scopey jump I can’t see that it will take long for him to sell.  Granted, I’m a bit partial and I really can’t resist a bay thoroughbred, but he is such fun to ride that I can’t imagine someone else wouldn’t have just as excellent a time on him and I think if a young rider snatches him up soon he could be cleaning up at NAJYRC next year.  Whenever you start riding a horse with quite a bit of experience, as Odyssey has, I think you have to work out how the horse has been going and how you want him to go, which for every horse and rider partnership is slightly different.  With Odyssey for instance, when I turned down the centerline and put my left leg on, he was already at the other side of the ring, wondering if I knew that “Hello!, the leg yield was over and it was time to lengthen across the diagonal and leg yield the other way!” Odyssey, it was clear, had the dressage test down and seemed to be wondering what was taking me so long to get with it.  We came to an understanding that if we could first trot slowly across the diagonal he could show off his very nice extended trot the next time.  Although I have not competed Odyssey, I am sure this instinctive “let’s go, I’ve got it!” combined with “okay I’m waiting for you” makes him an incredible cross country ride, and there’s much to be said for natural energy in dressage as well, cough cough Inet please take note!  In addition I’ve still been on the lookout for a young prospect and I think I have found one who I will introduce shortly and hopefully put up some pictures because she is incredibly cute and a potential candidate as Inet’s girlfriend.  But I am getting ahead of myself and still have to break the idea of a dressage intensive winter to Inet before I start meddling in his dating life. Happy Fall everyone, stay warm!

The new barn, before intensive weeding!

Everyone should have the  joy of seeing a basset hound this fall, and remember: Bassets are for Obama. Seriously, youtube it. there's a super video of basset hounds supporting the president the best way they know how, in a motorcycle sidecar of course!

Rats

Being the barn manager at Five Ring has given me some incredible opportunities and experiences -grooming for Kyle and Parker at Burghley, competing in my first intermediate, buying and reselling my first baby Henry, riding a huge variety of horses and learning the workings of a top eventing barn just to name a few. However one of the things I did not count on when moving down to Florida to work for the Carter's was becoming resident rat killer.  My reaction to rodents in the past had been to hope they go away and feel kind of sad when my Dad put out traps for the cute little mice that tried to move into our kitchen.  So at first I settled for setting out some traps and hoping the critters would go away. I mean I literally hoped they would see the trap, say “Oh I guess we aren’t welcome here MaryLou, we should move to the back field and live out our days in peace” and go their merry ways. Unfortunately, few of the rats took this course.  Instead, they were persistent. They did not laze around falling into traps and nibbling at bate (except when we gave them Nutrena XTN grain which they loved. Sign of a top quality grain? That is yet to be determined). They were dedicated, sneaky, multiplying masters of deceit. They ate my tall boots and the billets on my girth and then they ate the tack cleaning sponges. Who likes to eat sponges??! The mice/ rats at this point went from innocent creatures fighting for survival one kernel of grain at a time, to sponge eating weirdos. Turns out, weirdos are a lot easier to dislike. I forgot about poor Mary Lou and decided it was war. Armed with shovel and my specialized rat-hunting dog Drake, we prowled the grain room and knocked over cabinets and snuffled extensively tracking the enemy. Drake made up for being enormous and slow moving with his enthusiasm and unfaltering dedication. I made up for being regular sized and slow moving (and still a little bit conflicted about going into the rat killing business) by giving Drake part of my sandwich and telling him to do his best. Some days we'd catch one still squirming in the T-Rex trap and, unable to kill it myself, Drake would dispose of the evidence.

So eventually this brings me to today. Me versus 2 baby rats, looking up from inside the old freezer we use to store grain. They were trapped and they knew it. What they didn't know was that I too was trapped, caught between the necessity to kill the rodents and my inability to directly harm the little fury beings -especially when one gazed up at me, scrunched his tail and scurried into the corner in fear.  I had reached this point in the war on rodents not actually doing any of the killing myself, effectively distancing myself from the guilt of killing another living creature (I exclude mosquitos and cockroaches from the category “living creature” they fall under the category “detestable monsters of doom”). But today it was down to me. With its high walls, the freezer was too big for Drake to climb in and finish the task. So I grabbed my shovel and threw aside my increasing sense of guilt and apprehension and...stood there looking at them for a good long while. However, as with any moral crisis, eventually you have to stop pondering and just get on with it (or so I told myself as I questioned whether or not I was really any better than the rat), and so I struck, silently apologizing and hoping that all rats go to heaven. Then with the help of Hannah, our new working student, we drowned them in a bucket of water.  That last part sounds…excessive when you type it out, but at the time it made perfect sense.  I had killed two rats with a shovel and felt terrible about it but naturally thought everything would be better if they could do some more dying inside a bucket of water. Which turned out to be a great solution and I easily returned to barn chores with a clear conscious because I knew that although it was unfortunate to kill them, rats didn’t go away on their own, didn’t listen to reason and didn’t belong in the grain room. That carried me happily through about four minutes of the afternoon until I heard a small voice inside my head telling me about their parents, Bob and Susan, who happened to be vacationing in the grain room freezer and now had no kids to their name. Thanks to me.  Full blown moral crisis had returned.  I realize rats don’t have names and don’t have with the same emotions and ability to reason that a human does, and in a lot of ways are simply a nuisance. So why do I feel guilty about the death of an ugly four legged sponge eater but have no trouble eating a steak at dinner? Because the immense distance between eating a perfectly cooked steak and killing a cow makes it easy for me to ignore the realities of where my food came from and the deaths and hardships that occur on a daily basis to allow me to live my life in the modern world.  This alienation from what we consume allows us to ignore countless uncomfortable realities. For instance, the fact that most of the impoverished inhabitants of Fiji, where Fiji Water obtains its “water untouched by man,” don’t even have clean drinking water. So the conclusion I have come to is that, in feeling guilty about the rat but considering only rarely the negative effects of nearly everything else I consume, I’m a hypocritically guilt ridden rat killer. But instead of wallowing in rodent induced despair I am going to take a good long look at where, without even realizing it, I am wielding my shovel and inadvertently striking at animals, at the environment, at people I do not know but invariably effect.  And in the end, I’m still going to have to kill rats (but maybe I’ll stop with the posthumous drowning…)